Wow

So it is no secret I have been focusing on making myself a better person. I have been working on trying to take care of me and know that I am worth something. All my life I have struggled with compliments and self acceptance. I am making great improvements in this area. Today was not a good day though. Someone who I thought would be the most understanding and supportive of this really hurt my feelings. Here is where the proud moment comes in. It hurt and it hurt really bad and as I struggled to hold back tears when I read the message I received from them I started thinking Maybe I am a bad person Maybe I am becoming something and someone that I am not. Then I took a step back and thought that is not it. I am a good person. Just because I don't take care of everyone ahead of me does not make me a bad person. I felt really distraught and to be quite honest I still do . But it is not because I feel that I am a bad person or I am not worth things. I feel this way because I am sad and disappointed that who i thought would be my biggest supporter would hurt me this way and maybe on purpose . While this person has given me a lot  I have put myself in binds to give to this person. The first time I say no to something and honestly it is for every one's best interest they say hurtful things really took me by surprise. I will probably cry from hurt feelings and it will take me time to work through it but the one good thing out of it is for a change in my life i don't regret my decision and I know that it has nothing to do with me that it is a choice they are making. I am just going to chose to not let it take me back to the old me who would take 100% of the blame and put myself somewhere I should not be just to make people happy. It is a tough road I have chosen to take but day by day situation by situation I will get better .I am determined to become a better person and know my own worth.