What did I do wrong?

So you have a great amazing time everything seems to be going great then the phone stops ringing or he decides that you are not the woman  for him. What comes next is insane and crazy we spend all our time talking to our girl friends about what we did wrong. Going over and over every detail  of the last time we saw this person. Then we spend all night laying in bed wondering what exactly we did wrong. Was it something we said that scared them off ? was it something we did?  We spend all these hours going over every single detail and trying to figure things out. The truth of the matter is simple we did not do anything wrong! Why does it have to be us that did something wrong? Why do we as women devalue ourselves ? If this man could not appreciate you for everything that you are then was he even worth it?  The answer is No . We as women for some reason are pre programmed to not truly see our self worth. We always think it is something we did when that is not always the case.  The hardest yet the best thing we can do is  truly realize our self worth. See ourselves as the prize that we are instead of inferior to any man. We can talk all we want about how much better we were than this man and how he didn't deserve someone like us but the truth is we need to truly believe it.

Things to know

I recently found an article called 31 things I wish I would have known at 21. This article is about dating. As I read this article I realized that either myself  or a friend or both have gone through each scenario. The even sadder part now is in our 30's we sometimes know but don't always follow. We are excellent at giving advice but how often do we stop and follow our own advice.Sometimes doing the right thing is the most difficult thing to do .
Fact #1.If you're confused about whether a guy likes you or not, that's probably not good. Confusion in romance belongs only in romantic comedies because it suspends the plot, but suspense in real life sucks. So try not to analyze the events. The truth will reveal itself without you having to do anything.

How many times have we sat with our best friends analyzing exactly how he meant the word yes when he text. We have a tendency as women to sit and analyze every single aspect. The truth be told with a little patience we will know how the guy feels about us. However patience is the hardest thing to have when i t comes to romance. I know from experience that while some men do lie about their feelings just to get what they want the majority of men are much more simpler. They say what they think and what they feel and to them the word yes means yes  not yes but... or and... like we as women usually interpret. All we need to do is practice a little bit of patience. If he truly likes you he will call you or make an attempt to see you. If that is not the case then it is better to know before you get involved. The hands off approach may be the best way to attract a good man. 

The Begining

This weekend I drove up to Sedona and got a reading. The person who did my reading told me that I needed to write and get my thoughts out. I don't know if  she was for real or not but I have been thinking about blogging as a way of really keeping myself balanced. So I figured I would try it out see how it works. I think this might be just what I need to help deal with feelings I have held in for a long time. This could be the beginning of something or it could be nothing. I have nothing to lose so we will see where this goes. I  guess when you are starting the story you need to set the stage. So a little bit about me. I was born and raised in California. I have great parents who if I was born again I would choose the same parents because they have helped me be the person I am now. I truly appreciate all that my parents sacrificed for me. My mom taught me to appreciate all the things in life from watching the humming  birds in the morning to a smile a stranger gives you. My father taught me my work ethic. He would be up and working every day regardless of what was going on and  he was great at what he did. He loved getting up in the morning and going to work ( if he didn't love his job he fooled me until the end) . I did not grow up with a glamorous lifestyle. Growing up we were considered poor and we had to go through a lot of things. I think that has contributed to help me be who I am now as well. I see people all the time who have so much and appreciate so little. Many people nowadays feel entitled to things and I feel that takes the joy out of life. I have one sibling Nik who while 12 years younger than I is my inspiration for many things. I feel the need to be a better person so I can set a good example . Since my dad passed away. I don't have any family here in Arizona. I have limited amount of family in California. After my dad passed about a year and  a half ago his side of the family stopped communicating with me. That is their choice and their loss ( my dad didn't even like them all anyways) . I miss my dad terribly. I miss his comfort , his smile and the special bond we had. I think with him passing  my life and what I have evolved into changed completely. I miss him so much every day. It is a struggle for me to even type about him without tears.  His 55th birthday was 5 days ago and it was a struggle to make it through that day. There are times when I get jealous of people because they have the chance to find comfort in their fathers arms. I would  give up lots of things just to have one more hug, one more smile, one more corny joke. It hurts to think that when I get married he won't be there to walk me down the isle. Yes he is in a much better place now and I know he still hears me and is by my side but knowing this does not make the loss any easier. I have gone through so many emotions and so much confusion in trying to cope with this loss. This i think is mainly the reason for me starting this blog.